A Good Way to Improve Interpersonal Relationship 改變人際關係的妙方

改變人際關係的妙方

A Good Way to Improve Interpersonal Relationship.

所謂「如是因，如是果」，因不同，果就不同。

As the saying goes, 「as a man sows, so let him reap」, different causes lead to different effects.

如果我們想改變命運或改變生活狀態，就要從因上入手。想直接改變果法，這是很難的。所以，要多結善緣，多種善根，這樣將來的命運、生活就會越來越好。

我們有一些痛苦或不如意的事情，這也不是無緣無故的，是有因緣的。父子之間也好，夫妻之間也罷，結的緣分都不同，所以有的能和睦相處、互相利益，有的卻反目成仇、互相傷害。

If we plan to change our fate or our living conditions, then we』d better start with the causes. It is difficult to change the results directly. Therefore, make good connections and nurture the good roots, and you will live a better life.

What we suffer is not an accident and must result from some causes. As the karmic connections between fathers and sons or husbands and wives differ, some of them can get along well with and benefit each other, while some of them fall out and become enemies.

若往昔種過惡因，結過惡緣，今天的結果就不會好。現在要改變，就要將惡緣變成善緣。彼此之間要包容，要用真誠心來對待對方。真誠心的力量不可思議！真誠心，就是無私的心，真心地希望對方好，希望對方遠離痛苦，獲得安樂。

If you committed the harmful acts or connected evilly with others in the past, you won』t end well today. If you want to change it, just do good things to turn bad karma into good karma and treat others with tolerance and sincerity. The power of sincerity is inconceivable! A sincere heart refers to a selfless heart, which means truly expecting other people to live a peaceful and happy life and stay away from pains and sorrows.

你要真心地希望對方能離苦得樂，不能有私心。否則，若是擔心對方若不健康會連累自己，對方若不順利會拖累自己……這都是私心，裡面沒有真心。還有，因為是「我」的兒女、「我」的家人，而希望他們好，這還是因為「我」，這還是私心。有私心雜念，就感化不了對方，就無法了緣了債。若總是埋怨、嗔恨，解決不了問題，又繼續結惡緣、種惡因了，將來還要不斷地感受這些苦果。

You should sincerely wish the others to go away from suffering and become happy; you must forget your own interests. Otherwise, if you worry that the bad health and misfortune of others will be a burden to your life, it is all about selfishness without any sincerity. In addition, if you wish them a better life just because they are 「my」 children or 「my」 family, then it is still all about 「me」, about the selfishness. With selfish interest, you can』t soften others or melt their hardness, and you will never end the bad ties with them. It does no good to complain or hate, because you can』t settle these problems, but will create evil connection instead, so you will keep suffering from these pains in the future successively.

能成為一家人，能生活在一起，這是緣分，互相都是有緣的眾生，最需要幫助的眾生，應該珍惜啊！如果能以這樣的心態去對待，這叫真心。因為沒有私心雜念，所以可以化解你們之間的恩恩怨怨，可以了緣了債。

It is the karma that ties us together to live in a family, and we must cherish the hard-won karmic connection. Based on such attitude, you can treat others sincerely. Without any selfishness, you will solve contradictions and end up karma and debt.

把心量放大，學會原諒對方。都是受煩惱控制的眾生，一旦生起煩惱，他也不自由啊！他也不想吵，他也不想煩惱，但是沒有辦法，無法控制。而我們現在學習佛法，明白這個道理了，應該包容對方，理解對方。「哦，都是凡夫，有煩惱是正常的，跟我吵架正常的……」這樣一想，自己就不煩惱了，對方也就不煩惱了。若想改變，就要這樣去改變。

Try to be broad-minded and learn to forgive others. Under the control of afflictions, he is not free once afflictions arise. He doesn』t want to quarrel or worry, but he is out of control. Now, we have understood why this happens by learning the Buddhism, so we should accept and understand others. 「Oh, it is common to have afflictions and quarrels with me, because we are all ordinaries.」 When you consider it like this, you will be never upset anymore, neither will others. If you want to change something, then change in this way.

夫妻之間、父女之間、母子之間的關係，以及同事之間、朋友之間的關係，包括道友、佛友之間的關係，都要這樣去改變。

The relationships between Husbands and wives, fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, colleagues, friends, including Dharma friends, should be improved in this way.

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