一把從耶魯偷來的椅子

法學院食堂的椅子與這把十分相像，這足以讓我懷疑這把椅子的來歷。但是，當我有一天跑到耶魯的公共食堂吃午飯的時候，我的所有疑問都有了答案：我看到幾百把和「我的」椅子一模一樣的椅子。毫無疑問，這東西就是偷來的了。

輸12

After 20 years, it』s time to come clean. As I write these words, I』m sitting on a chair stolen from Yale.

20年過去了，是時候把真相和盤托出了。在寫這句話的時候，我正坐在一把從耶魯大學偷來的椅子上。

I didn』t steal it—at least not at first. The chair came with the apartment that I rented as a second-year law student in the fall of 1990. Left by some Yalie who lived there before me, it』s a sturdy piece, with a hardwood frame, a dark leather (or leather-like) seat, and a firm back secured by twin rows of brass tacks.

椅子並不是我偷的——至少一開始不是這樣。1990年秋天我在耶魯法學院讀二年級的時候，租了一間公寓，租來時這把椅子就在那間公寓里。它是在我之前住在那兒的耶魯學生留下來的。椅子很結實，硬木框架，黑色真皮(或是模擬皮)椅座，堅固的靠背還釘了兩排黃銅平頭釘加固。

The Law School dining hall had chairs that were similar enough to rouse my suspicions. But when I ventured over to Commons for lunch one day, any doubt was erased: I saw hundreds of exact replicas of 「my」 chair. It was definitely stolen property.

法學院食堂的椅子與這把十分相像，這足以讓我懷疑這把椅子的來歷。但是，當我有一天跑到耶魯的公共食堂吃午飯的時候，我的所有疑問都有了答案：我看到幾百把和「我的」椅子一模一樣的椅子。毫無疑問，這東西就是偷來的了。

輸入

在我精神飽滿時，它能讓我保持優雅的坐姿；在我感到疲倦時，它也足夠堅固，大可以讓我耷拉著腦袋懶洋洋地靠著，或是盤腿蜷縮起來。

Being short of cash and needing a solid desk chair, I decided to use it just for the year. And while the chair had seen better days—the wood was scuffed, the seat had started to peel and crinkle—I found it was perfectly designed for long hours of study. It invited good posture when I was fresh and was stable enough to handle slouching and crossed-leg hunching when I grew tired. I liked the chair so much that I broke my silent pledge to bring it back to campus at the end of the year. Instead, I took it with me to my new apartment. When I leave New Haven, I thought to myself. That』s when I』ll return it.

由於當時手頭緊，又正需要一把結實耐用的書桌椅，於是我決定自己留著用，就用這一年。這把椅子早已「風光不再」，木框架已經磨損，椅座也開始脫皮起皺，但我發現它的設計非常適合長時間學習。在我精神飽滿時，它能讓我保持優雅的坐姿；在我感到疲倦時，它也足夠堅固，大可以讓我耷拉著腦袋懶洋洋地靠著，或是盤腿蜷縮起來。我曾經暗自許諾要在這一年結束時把椅子還給學校，可是我太喜歡它了，於是沒有兌現諾言。相反，我把它帶到了我的新公寓。我心裡盤算著，等離開紐黑文(註：耶魯大學所在地)時，我就把它歸還回去。

But by the time graduation rolled around in May 1992, I felt too attached to the chair to let it go. After all, I』d largely earned my JD sitting on it. So I loaded it into a small U-Haul and drove off to my new job in Washington, D.C. I used the chair at my home desk in Washington for 14 years, and when I moved to New York City in 2006, I again took it along.

可是到了1992年5月臨近畢業的時候，我又感覺自己太留戀這把椅子了，實在是割捨不下。畢竟，我攻讀法學博士的大部分時光都是在它上面度過的。於是，我把它裝進一輛從U-Haul汽車租賃公司租來的小卡車上，然後駕車前往華盛頓——我的新工作單位所在地。在華盛頓，我把這把椅子放在了家中的書桌旁，一用就用了14年。2006年，我搬往紐約的時候，我再一次把它帶在了身邊。

The irony of all this hasn』t escaped me: I』m a Yale law graduate breaking the law. At least, I think I』m breaking it. The truth is, I』m not really sure what the law of Connecticut says about possession of stolen property (which should only reinforce my alma mater11)』s reputation for teaching Big Ideas, not black-letter rules). Of course, there』s the old chestnut that possession is nine-tenths of the law. But my gut15) tells me that this isn』t really my chair.

我深知這一切所蘊含的諷刺意味：身為一名耶魯法學院的畢業生，我卻知法犯法。至少，我覺得自己是犯了法。事實上，我並不十分清楚康涅狄格州的法律對佔有被盜財產有什麼規定(這也更好地詮釋出我母校的在外聲名，那就是只傳授「重要理念」，不講授既定的「法律條文」)。當然，古諺有云：現實佔有，敗一勝九。可是我的內心明白，這的確不是我的椅子。

在寫作的過程中，我受到的一大挑戰就是重現法學院的氛圍，而每天都坐在我上大學時曾坐過的那把椅子上，這對我的寫作無疑頗有助益。

輸12

So why have I kept it so long? Initially, I guess, the chair somehow connected me to the things I missed about Yale—Friday afternoon football games with my classmates, late nights at Yorkside Pizza, doughnuts at the Doodle. Over the years, though, my stolen chair has accreted much greater meaning, and the truth is that today, parting with it would be very difficult. The chair has literally supported me for my entire writing career—a career that began during law school, when I realized I wasn』t a lawyer at heart.

那我為什麼把它保留了這麼久呢？最初，我想，是因為這把椅子能夠勾多多少少讓我回想起耶魯生活中那些讓我思念的往事：星期五下午與同學一起參加的橄欖球賽，約克賽德比薩店的深夜，還有塗鴉大會上的炸面圈。但隨著一年年過去，我這把偷來的椅子所附著的意義卻與日俱增，事實上，現在我與它已經難捨難分了。在我的整個寫作生涯里，這把椅子一直名副其實地支撐著我。我的寫作生涯始於法學院其間，那時我就認識到自己實際上不是當律師的料。

I was sitting on this chair while I wrote my first short story, my first screenplay, and my first chapters of a novel; while I read my first rejection letters; and, perhaps most important, while I struggled to finish my first book. Fittingly, that book was, in large part, about Yale—the story of how my classmates took the U.S. government to court to free innocent refugees held at Guantánamo in the early 1990s. Part of my challenge was to recreate the atmosphere of the Law School—and sitting every day on the same chair I』d used back then surely must have helped me.

我坐在這把椅子上完成了自己的第一則短篇小說、第一個電影劇本和第一部長篇小說的前幾個章節；我坐在這把椅子上，品讀了最初的幾封退稿信；而也許最為重要的是，我坐在這把椅子上艱難地寫完了自己的第一本書。這本書大部分內容都與耶魯有關，講述的是在20世紀90年代初我的同學們如何將美國政府訴諸法庭，從而使關押在關塔那摩的無辜難民得以釋放的故事。在寫作的過程中，我受到的一大挑戰就是重現法學院的氛圍，而每天都坐在我上大學時曾坐過的那把椅子上，這對我的寫作無疑頗有助益。

Today, my old Yale chair is in bad shape. The legs are splintered and the varnish21) is wearing away. The seat upholstery is shredded, and I』ve covered the loose spring coils with a couple of cloth napkins from IKEA. Friends say it looks like something I retrieved from a dumpster. But when I sit down to work each day, I don』t see an object for the trash heap. I see an old friend, a constant companion that has been with me through the ups and downs of what is a terribly solitary profession.

如今，我這把老舊的耶魯椅狀況很糟糕：椅子腿裂了，油漆的光澤已漸漸褪去，椅座外飾碎成一片一片的，彈簧圈也鬆弛了，我用從宜家買來的幾塊餐布把它們蓋了起來。朋友們說，它看上去真像是從大垃圾桶里撿回來的。可每天當我坐下來工作的時候，我所看到的可不是什麼垃圾廢品，而是一位老朋友，一個陪我在極其孤獨的職業生活中起起伏伏的忠實伴侶。

輸入

把我的名字留在耶魯的椅子上，這應該是件不錯的事情。

As part of a recent Law School fund-raising campaign, I pledged an amount that I thought would cover several new chairs. Even so, for the punishment to fit the crime, I guess I should donate a few copies of each book I write to the Yale library.

法學院最近開展了一項募資活動，我承諾捐一筆錢，我想這筆錢夠買好幾把新椅子了。即便如此，按照罰罪相當的原則，我估計我還得把自己寫的每一本書都捐幾本給耶魯圖書館才行。

And maybe one day, many years from now, I could get the chair properly fixed up, carve 「Brandt Goldstein」 in some hidden place, and drop it off in the Law School library. It would be nice to have my name on a chair at Yale.

也許許多年後的某一天，我會找人把這把椅子修理妥當，再在某個隱蔽的地方刻上我的名字「勃蘭特·戈爾茨坦」，然後放進法學院的圖書館。把我的名字留在耶魯的椅子上，這應該是件不錯的事情。

By Brandt Goldstein 譯 / 陳繼龍

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