女人為何愛嘮叨？
新年新希望，那天大伙兒聚在一起閑聊，問及每個人的新年願望時，有位仁兄毫不猶豫地大聲回答：「錢我自己賺，命我自己養，我只有一個願望，希望我周遭的女人少嘮叨一點！」
New year"s day, everybody chatting together, asked everyone wish in the new year, one person did not hesitate to answer loudly: "the money I earned myself, my own life, I have only one wish, I hope a little less nagging woman around!"
沒料到此話一出，在場所有男人跟著鼓掌叫好，顯然說出了他們的心聲。
No one had expected the words to come out, and all the men were in the hands of the applause, apparently speaking their voice.
我轉身看著這位率先發難的男性友人，他的眼神中閃爍著被理解的感動，哥兒們甘願冒著生命危險，當著自己另一半的面出聲支持，當然令人感激涕零。
I turned to look at the first attack of the male friend, his eyes flashing understood moved, friends willing to risk their lives when their other half face voice support, of course a shed tears of gratitude.
他的太太此時也開口了：「總說我們女人愛嘮叨，男人如果一聽就懂，一叫就動，女人就不必辛苦重複了呀。」
His wife also spoke at this time: "we always say that our women are nagging. If a man understands it at the same time, the woman doesn"t have to work hard to repeat it."
她繼續說著：「像你每天看報紙都把它拆得一張一張的，完全亂了序，要別人怎麼看？跟你說了多少遍也不改，這麼不體恤旁人，還好意思說我啰唆？」
She continued: "like you look at the newspaper every day and remove it one piece, completely disorderly, what do people think about it?" To tell you how many times is not changed, so don"t take pity on others, EM barrassed me winded?"
「另外，看電視時只要遙控器一到你手上，全家人就痛苦不已，每隔五秒就轉一次台，還看什麼電視啊？怎麼說也不聽，分明是你虐待別人，怎麼反倒怪人嘮叨？」
"In addition, as long as the telecontrol is on your hand when you watch TV, the whole family is suffering, turn the platform every five seconds, and what TV do you watch? How to say it is not to listen, it is clear that you abuse others, how to reverse the strange nagging? "
女人開口一氣呵成，到這兒才歇了口氣。只見男人轉頭向大伙兒做了個鬼臉：「唉，新年肯定是沒希望了！」
The woman opened one, here only to breathe.The man turned to the big gang and made a face: "well, the new year must be hopeless!"
女人為什麼愛嘮叨？
對許多男人而言，這可真是個惱人的千古奇案，似乎也是自己痛苦的主要來源，有一份調查顯示，男人討厭女人做的事情當中，排名第一的就是「啰唆嘮叨」，遠高於排名第二的「不愛打扮」。看來連一向好色的男人都寧可忍受醜女，也不願忍受嘮叨女，你就可想而知這事態的嚴重性了。
For many men, this is a really annoying case history, the main source seems to be their own suffering, a survey shows that men hate women do, the ranking is "nagging nagging", far higher than the second ranked "do not like to dress up". It seems that even a man who has always been a good color would rather endure the ugly woman than a nagging woman, and you can imagine the seriousness of the situation.
研究發現，女人一天說的話可以是男人的兩倍，所以這麼看來，女人的確比男人更愛嘮叨。而我發現被男人視為嘮叨的動作，其實包括不同的內容：
Studies have found that women say two times as much as men a day, so it seems that women are more nagging than men. And I found that a man"s nagging action, in fact, includes a different content:
（1）重複命令：女人對男人發號施令得不到回應，就會不斷地重複要求（是要求，而非請求），例如：「你究竟什麼時候會換燈泡？」或者：「我爸不是要你打個電話給他？」
(1) repeat orders: when a woman doesn"t respond to a command, he will continue to repeat requests (asking, not asking), for example, "when are you going to change the bulb?" Or: "isn"t dad asking you to call him?"
（2）關心提醒：即使是出於善意的提醒，只要不是男人想聽的，也算嘮叨：「你今天吃藥了嗎？」或者：「今天降溫，別忘了多穿衣服。
(2) care reminding: even out of good intentions, as long as it"s not a man who wants to hear it, it"s a nagging: "did you take the medicine today?" Or: "cool today, don"t forget to wear more clothes.
（3）稱讚他人：有時女人表達的是對別人言行的欣賞，但如果男人覺得女人話中有話，這分明就是嘮叨：「隔壁的老王今年聖誕節買了一個名牌皮包送王太太，她得意地向大家炫耀自己有個好老公！」或者：「聽說老吳很會修理電器，家中有任何東西壞了，他三兩下就能搞定！
(3): sometimes the woman to compliment others express the appreciation of others words and deeds, but if men think women overtones in conversation nagging: "it is clear that the next Christmas this year, Wang bought a famous brand bag sent Mrs. Wang, she proudly showing it to everyone you have a good husband!" Or: "I heard that Wu very will repair home appliances, anything bad, he will be able to fix 32!"
（4）分享心事：最讓女人感到委屈的恐怕就是這一種了，忙了一天好不容易兩個人見到面，跟你說說心理的想法，才表示咱倆親密如昔。但男人下了班就想放空，安安靜靜地看個報紙就心滿意足，此時女人如果抒發千言萬語，就真是太不識相了：「辦公室小徐和小陳今天開會時居然相互咆哮，經理要我去協調他們的衝突，這兩人積怨已久，我怎麼可能擺平嘛！」
(4): This is a worry to share the most afraid to make a woman feel wronged, busy day finally two people meet, tell you about psychological thoughts, that we are close as ever. But the man under the class want to vent, quietly read a newspaper content at this time, if a woman is really express the thousands and thousands of words, he: "the office of the small Xu and Chen meeting today actually are roaring, the manager asked me to coordinate their conflict, the two men have long grudges, how do I may settle!"
對女人來說，這些可是內容功用截然不同的溝通形式，但到了男人耳里，卻通通變成同一種定義：「啰唆嘮叨」。女人該理解的是，基本上只要讓男人心煩的溝通方式，就算是嘮叨。這也解釋了為何男人認為女人無時無刻都愛嘮叨，而女人卻只會承認自己很「偶爾」會嘮叨的差異。為什麼男人怕嘮叨？
For the woman, but the contents of different forms of communication function, but to a man, but all into one definition: "nagging nagging". What women should understand is that it"s basically a way of making a man upset, even if it is nagging. It also explains why men think women are always nagging, and women only recognize the "occasional" nagging difference. Why do men be afraid of nagging?
（１）嘮叨代表權力低落：只有權力高的一方能命令權力低的人，女人不斷要求命令，就意味著權力的移轉，而對男人而言，發現自己的地位日漸式微，可不是什麼令人興奮之事，所以當然不爽。
(1) at low: only the power of high power on behalf of the party can command power is low, the woman demands command means of power transfer, and for men, found their declining status, not what exciting things, so of course.
（２）嘮叨暗示能力不足：男人認為，我做事自有分寸，輕重緩急都能掌握，哪需要別人指示，所以一聽到女人說這說那，就覺得她擺明了不信任我的能力。悄悄告訴女人一個秘密，心理學家發現，沒什麼比「能力不足」更能傷害、激怒一個男人了，你想這時男人怎麼會開心？
(2) nagging and hinting ability is not enough: men think that I have a sense of propriety in my work, and I need to be able to control where I need to be directed. So when I hear a woman say this, I feel that she can"t trust me. Whispering a secret to a woman, psychologists find that nothing hurts and irritate a man better than "lack of ability". How do you think men will be happy now?
（３）嘮叨表示不夠幸福：女人也許認為說話是分享心事，聽到男人耳中，就翻譯成「我不能讓你幸福」，要不你哪來這多的苦？而自己每天做牛做馬，以為自己的犧牲能讓家人快樂，沒料到她仍不幸福，那這一切努力是為了什麼？愈想男人就愈沮喪，不是嗎？
(3) nagging shows that happiness is not enough: women may think that speaking is sharing their minds, and hearing men"s ears translate into "I can"t make you happy", or where do you suffer so much? And every horse thinks his own sacrifice, make the family happy, didn"t expect that she is still not happy, that all this effort is for what? The more you think about men, the more frustrating it is, isn"t it?
女人怎麼做才能減少嘮叨呢？
（１）先說出自己的目的：請別開口就絮絮叨叨，先告訴他你這番話的真正目的，以免他老兄會錯意，誤把分享當責怪。例如：
(1) first name their purpose: please don"t open out, tell him your true purpose of the words, lest he man wrong, wrong when share blame. For example:
「我沒有要怪你的意思，我只是想跟你分享心情」
"I don"t have to blame you, I just want to share with you."
「我想跟你聊聊今天發生的事，請你給我一些建議」
"I want to talk to you about what happened today. Please give me some advice."
（男人最喜歡被請示意見了，這讓他們覺得很有能力。）
(a man likes to be asked to be asked, which makes them feel capable.)
「我一點兒也不想啰唆煩你，所以如果你能告訴我一個確切時間，我就心裡有數，不會再問你啦！」
"I don"t want to trouble trouble you, so if you can tell me exactly one time, I knew, not ask you again!"
（說服男人回答，要誘之以利，告訴他這麼做對他有啥好處。）
(persuading a man to answer, to lure it to him, to tell him what it is to him.)
（２）給男人一些發獃充電的時間：他一進門你就說話，可是大大不智的表現，聰明的女人會挑時間、挑心情開口，不妨先告訴他：
(2) give men some time to stare at charging: when he enters the door, you speak, but it is very unintelligent. Smart women will pick the time and pick up the mood.
「我知道你今天辛苦了，我不吵你，好讓你休息一會兒，等到你有心情說話時，能不能來找我一下？」
"I know you are working hard today. I don"t argue with you and let you rest for a while. Can you come to me when you are in a mood to speak?"
如此一來，休息後的他就有足夠的情緒能量來照顧你的心情。
In this way, he has enough emotional energy to take care of your mood after the rest.
（３）少說「你」，多說「我」：開口抱怨時一直說「你」，很容易讓對方產生自我防衛的念頭，因而開始爭論不休，例如：
(3) talk less about "you" and say "me". When you complain, you always say "you", which is easy for the other person to have the idea of self defense.
「你都不替別人想」
"You don"t think for others."
「怎麼說你都當耳邊風」
"How to say you can take like a passing wind"
請試試看多用「我」開場：
Please try to start with "me".
「我覺得有些失望」
"I feel a little disappointed."
「我覺得不受重視」
"I don"t think much of it."
談論自己感覺比較沒有對錯，但批評別人可就容易有的討論了，所以聰明的你該知道怎麼做了吧？
It"s not right to talk about yourself, but it"s easy to criticize others, so it"s time for you to know how to do it.
掌握了這些溝通技巧，你和他就不會再受嘮叨之苦，而能享受開心溝通的幸福！
Master these skills, you and he won"t be nagging pain, and can enjoy the fun of communication of happiness!
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