我爸媽覺得女孩在結婚前不該離開家

「我們家是玻利維亞的，我爸媽都是守舊派：女兒在結婚前不應該離開家。但我19歲就離開家了，因為我受不了那種持續的、關於我該怎麼生活的鬥爭。不是說我想出去鬼混，我只是想探索紐約，交黑人朋友、白人朋友，還有同性戀朋友。從那以後我和爸媽的關係就很差。

最後我嫁給了一個來自Corona的多明尼加男生，他全心全意對我好，但我爸媽從未接受他。我們是在市政廳結的婚，現在我都33歲了，也剛剛有了第一個孩子。所以我以為和爸媽之間的關係終於能好起來了，我以為我們可以平等了，現在我都有自己的孩子了，也許他們會接受我的選擇。但他們還是那樣。

我工作時我媽幫我看孩子，全都是按她自己的方式在做，她對我所有的選擇都要評頭論足。當我堅持要用一定的方式撫養我的孩子時，她就會生氣，然後開始哭，還提醒我，說我19歲時離開了家。然後我爸就會打電話過來，吼我，說我惹我媽生氣。我心都碎了。

但我意識到了：要想跟他們保持好的關係，就得順從他們，他們說什麼你就得做什麼，永遠都是這樣。」

「My parents are old school. We』re from Bolivia. The daughter isn』t supposed to leave the house until she』s married. But I left when I was nineteen because I couldn』t take the constant fighting about how to live my life. It』s not that I wanted to be promiscuous. I just wanted to explore New York and have black friends and white friends and gay friends. I』ve had a bad relationship with my parents ever since.

I ended up marrying a Dominican boy from Corona. He』s been nothing but good to me. But they』ve never accepted him. We got married at City Hall. I』m thirty-three now. We just had our first child. So I thought things would finally get better with my parents. I thought we could relate as equals now that I have my own child. Maybe they』d finally accept my choices. But they』re still the same.

My mother helps babysit my child while I』m at work. She does everything her own way. She criticizes all my decisions. When I insist on raising my child a certain way, she gets upset. She starts crying and reminds me that I left the house when I was nineteen. Then my father calls and yells at me for upsetting my mother. It breaks my heart.

But I』m realizing that a good relationship with my parents will always require doing exactly what they say.」

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ABOUT US

Humans of New York是紐約攝影師Brandon Stanton開創的街頭攝影計劃，他每天在紐約的街頭尋找普通的紐約人，請他們講述自己的生活和感悟，簡單的幾句話里常常有讓人會心一笑或者擊中人心的力量。

在Humans of New York的激勵下，世界上很多城市都有人開始了類似的攝影項目，其中也包括不少中國城市。我們也會從中選擇部分有意思的故事不定期發布。

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