外國父母曬出的熊孩子語錄，我已笑出腹肌

今年一月份，國外社交網站上發起了一個活動：

#曬出你家孩子說過最可怕的話

幾天就引發了大量的發帖和圍觀，寶媽寶爸們紛紛發帖 曬（訴）娃（苦）。

My daughter was about 5 when she says you』re the best mommy I ever had.

I said I』m the only mommy you』ve ever had.

She looks at me and says no you are the 3rd one but I like you the best

— iWakanda(@daahlingnikki) January?28, 2018

我女兒快5歲的時候對我說：你是我擁有的最好的媽媽。

我說：我是你擁有的唯一的媽媽。

她看著我說：不，你是我第三個媽媽，但我最喜歡你。

My son, at five years old:

"Daddy, I"m gonna eat you up."

"Awwww…."

"Yeah, I"m gonna cut you into little pieces."

"…."

— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) January 28, 2018

兒子五歲了。

「爸爸，我要把你吃掉！」

「嗷嗷（爸爸好怕怕呀）……」

「耶，我會把你切成一小塊一小塊的。」

「……」

之後的分享太可怕，我已不敢講述。為了避免嚇到大家，孩子的嚇人話就只分享這兩條吧！

GIF

說起來，國外父母對於這種曬【熊孩子語錄】的活動似乎情有獨鍾。

比如像下面這種能讓人笑cry的童言童語。

When my child came home from school on the bus, I paused the work conference call I was on to ask her how her day was.

She responded, 」Shhh go back to work. I have a list of things I want you to buy me with the money you』re making.」 She』s five.

看到孩子坐校車到家，我就暫停了工作上的電話會議，去問她今天過得怎麼樣。

她回答說：「噓……快回去工作。我還有很多想要的東西，需要你工作賺錢來買呢。」

I went to see a mortgage advisor with my 7-year-old son.

As I sat at the desk, my son sat down and said to the man 」Hello, I am not her husband.」

我帶著7歲的兒子去見一個房屋抵押諮詢師。

我倆剛坐下，兒子就跟那人說：「你好，我不是她老公。」

One night after dinner, my 5-year-old ran past and let out a huge fart that stopped him in his tracks.

He turned to us and said, "Sorry, that was my butt saying thanks for the food!"

晚餐後，5歲的兒子跑過時放了一個響亮的屁。

他停住轉過來對我們說，「對不起，這是我的屁股在對食物說謝謝！」

When my daughter was 6-years-old I was pregnant with my second child.

We explained to her that my egg and her daddy"s sperm made her, and my egg and her stepdad"s sperm made the baby.

My daughter"s response?

"That"s really nice that you gave them each a turn."

女兒6歲時，我懷上了二胎。

我們向她解釋：媽媽的卵子和爸爸的精子結合成了你，媽媽的卵子和繼父的精子結合成了肚子里的小寶寶。

女兒的反應？

「你們是好人，讓兩個精子都有機會。」

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你家寶貝說過哪些讓人哭笑不得的【童言童語】？

歡迎留言分享給我們喲！

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