在我們絕望地做個好父母的過程里，我們變成了我們自己的孩子

「最難過的是她去上大學的時候。我們提前幾天就把她送了過去，所以校園裡空無一人，我清楚地看到了她獨自一人走過方形的中庭。

當女兒在字面意義上走進她人生的下一個階段時，我的視線一直沒法從她的背部移開。

我的腦海里跑過了很多很多疑問：『我們都幫她準備好了嗎？她高興嗎？如果她不高興，她會很自在地告訴我們嗎？』

回想起來，我希望我沒有過分擔憂一些小事就好了。在她小時候，我們很擔心她要不要開始參加足球隊、她能不能在舞蹈比賽里被選為前排，或者她有沒有在演奏會上演奏長笛。

我們太擔心這件事了，因為我們在尋找一種肯定，一種能驗證我們做得夠好的東西。在我們絕望地做個好父母的過程里，我們變成了我們自己的孩子。

我真希望我知道這些東西多快能消退掉，還有她成年後，這些對她的影響能有多小。」

「The hardest was when she left for college. We dropped her off a couple days early, so the campus was empty, and I have this very clear image of her walking alone across the quad.

I stared at my daughter』s back while she literally walked into the next phase of her life.

So many questions were running through my mind: 『Did we prepare her enough? Is she happy? Will she feel comfortable enough to tell us if she』s not?』

Looking back, I wish I hadn』t fretted so much over the small stuff. When she was young, we were worried so much about whether she started on the soccer team, or if she got chosen for the front row at the dance competition, or if she was playing flute at the recital.

We worried so much about that stuff because we were looking for any sort of validation that we were doing a good job. And in our desperation to be good parents we became our children.

I wish I knew how fast all that stuff would fade away. And how little any of that would matter once she became an adult.」

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ABOUT US

Humans of New York是紐約攝影師Brandon Stanton開創的街頭攝影計劃，他每天在紐約的街頭尋找普通的紐約人，請他們講述自己的生活和感悟，簡單的幾句話里常常有讓人會心一笑或者擊中人心的力量。

在Humans of New York的激勵下，世界上很多城市都有人開始了類似的攝影項目，其中也包括不少中國城市。我們也會從中選擇部分有意思的故事不定期發布。

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