安心若宅，快樂常住
生活中，有一些事情使我們高興，有一些事情讓我們不快。實際上，只有少數事情給人們帶來了壞消息和大麻煩，它們是那種真正的「壞事」；此外，大部分事情僅僅是偶爾讓我們感到不快：一些事可能是與你的預期不同，或者順帶著製造了一點小麻煩干擾了你的計劃和好心情；甚至，那只是你每天都要做的例行公事，只是今天做起來不太順利……沒人知道下一分鐘會有什麼事兒影響到我們的好心情，但如果你有一顆真正強大的內心，那足夠保護你自己遠離壞心情。
首先，你的心情很多時候依靠的是你自己，而不是你所遇到的事情；內心越強大，你感受到的不快樂就越少。《三隻小豬》的故事已經告訴我們這個道理。三個小豬在森林裡蓋房子，其中一個小豬用磚頭和石塊蓋房子，而另外兩個只是用茅草和樹枝蓋房子。大灰狼想要抓住小豬並吃掉他們，他吹垮了茅草房，推倒了樹枝房，但就是破壞不了磚瓦房——它非常堅固並保護它的主人遠離危險。同樣的情況，當我們面對「不愉快的事情」甚至「壞事情」的時候，有的人會感到糟糕和氣憤，就像受了捉弄，但有的人卻可以保持平靜。相對堅強的內心，脆弱的心正像那用茅草和樹枝搭起的庇護所，更容易被「大灰狼」破壞。
其次，成為你內心的主人，並負起責任；為了你的愉快心情和美好生活，使它更加強大起來吧。誰應該為被破壞的房子負責，是大灰狼還是小豬？當然是那些小豬了，他們是庇護所的建造者和主人。所以對你「房子」可不能懶惰。如果你不喜歡亂糟糟的房間滿是厚厚的灰塵、骯髒的垃圾、噁心的臭味，你必須定期打掃衛生；如果你不喜歡所住的房子有破窗或漏雨屋頂，你得立即去修理。保持房子室內乾燥和溫暖，不在於室外是否晴天或雨天，而是在於房子的屋頂、牆壁、門窗和供熱系統。同樣的，你應該在遇到「壞天氣」之前讓自己的內心處於一種良好的狀態，你要做一個好主人。
得益於大量的練習和訓練，一個運動員的心臟較之常人，不僅能承受更快的心率，而且平復的也快。相似的是，擁有強大內心的人也多是經過有意識的學習和練習而修養出來的。他們願意為他人承擔更多的責任，也願意麵對更多的挑戰；他們意志堅定，心胸開放，行為端正；他們在自律中追求自由，在謙卑和寬恕中變得強大；在中國文化中，他們被尊稱為「君子」，以區別另外一些只在乎個人利益並時常被情緒左右的人。所以，孔子曰：「君子坦蕩蕩，小人常戚戚。」
最後一點同樣重要，你得學會從不佳的情緒中接受積極影響，拒絕消極影響。心情不好的感覺是一種特殊的信號，你只有冷靜地面對它時，它才能被你發現。它給你警告，也給你勸告。比如說，當你前往一個重要的會議或約會並可能會遲到，卻又不得不一次次在交叉路口的紅燈面前停下車來，此時的你可能會處於焦躁易怒之中。這個時候，你要知道，實際上你心裡的那種不爽情緒正在用一種不客氣的口吻提醒你：「你必須採取特殊措施，要聰明的，但不能犯傻！」「你最好準備一個預案，以免萬一壞結果發生！」「牢記在心裡：下次一定不能再遲到！」一個真正智者總是能聽得進來自內心的正確建議，並做出正確決策和恰當行動。
相反，如果你不能在社會規範和理智的範圍中控制住消極情緒，將可能犯下錯誤（如闖紅燈），甚至置你自己和他人於危險境地（如交通事故）。你有沒有因為孩子打破你最喜愛的花瓶而尖叫，並威脅要扔掉他們所有的玩具？當你的配偶或朋友讓你不高興的時候，你有沒有惡語相向？當你的情緒化的舉動衝過「停車」的信號牌之後，一千個道歉可能永遠也彌補不了這一米的距離。只是說「對不起」要比擁有強大的內心容易做的多。
心臟病專家和心理學家都建議我們要有一顆強健的心。所以說，心理健康與身體健康是一樣的重要。做你內心的主人——積極、負責和善於管理，幸福將會喜歡住在你的「房子」里。
DoYou Have A Great House In Your Heart?
Somethings make us happy, and some things make us unhappy. In the fact, only a few of things are really bad things which bring the bad message and big trouble to us. Besides, a lot of things just make us feel unhappy occasionally: something could be different from your expectation or make a small problem disturbing your plan and your good mood incidentally; even, it is a matter of routine you did it every day, but attaching a little inconvenience today… Nobody knows which thing would affect our good mood in the next minute, but you can protect ourselves far from a bad mood if you have a really strong heart.
First, most times your mood relies on yourself rather than the things you meet, and the stronger a heart you have, the less unhappy you feel. The story,Three Little Pigs, has told us about that. Three little pigs built their houses in the forest, one of them built his house by using the bricks and stones while the other two little pigs built their house with the grass and tree branches. The big bad wolf was going to catch the pigs and eat them. He had blown down the grass-house and pushed down the branch-house, but he was not able to break the brick-house, which was very solid and protected his owner from any danger. In the same way, facing the same "unhappy things" even the "bad things", someone could feel terrible or angry as he/she is teased while others keep calm. The brittle heart, like the shelter made with grass and branches, always is easier to be broken by the "big bad wolf" than the strong heart.
Second, be a responsible master of your heart, and make it stronger for a good mood and a good life. Which one must be responsible for the broken house, the big bad wolf or the little pigs? Of course, the little pigs, who were the builders and masters of their shelters. So don"t be lazy for your "house". If you don"t like an untidy room filled with thick dust, dirty trash, and sick smell, you must clean it up regularly; if you don"t like living in the house with the broken window or rainy roof, you must fix it immediately. Keeping the house dry and warm inside does not depend upon whether is it sunny or rainy outside, but rather the roofs, walls, windows, doors and heating systems. In a similar manner, you ought to do something inadvance to keep your heart in a good condition before we meet any 「bad weather" and be a good master.
Profiting from plenty of exercise and training, an athlete"s heart not only undergoes more rapid beat rates than normal but also recovers quickly. Similarly, those people who have a strong heart grow up from their conscious learning and practices. They are willing to take on more responsibility for others, and face greater challenges as well; they are strong-willed, open-minded, and well-behaved; they seek liberty in their self-discipline, and become powerful in their humility and forgiveness; they were called "Junzi"（君子） in Chinese culture, as opposed to other peoples who only care about their own interests and usually were controlled by emotion. So, Confucius said, 「A junzi is always calm and atease; a petty man is full of worries and anxieties.」
Last but not least, you should learn to accept the positive effects and refuse the negative effects of unhappy emotions. The unhappy feeling is a kind of special signal which can be discovered when you confront it calmly. It gives both warning and advice to you. For instance, when you would be late to an important meeting or date and you must stop your car in front of the red lights at an intersection time after time, you may be anxious and angry. At this time, you need to know, actually the unhappy feeling is reminding you with aplainspoken tone: "You must take special action- be smart but not stupid!」 "You had better prepare a pre-arranged plan in case a bad result catches you!" "Bear this in mind: DON"T BE LATEAGAIN!" A real wise person always listens to the correct suggestions from his/her strong heart and makes correct decisions and actions modestly.
Conversely, if you cannot control the negative feeling under social circumstances and human intellect, could make a mistake(ie: running the red light) even create adangerous situation(ie: traffic accident) to yourself and other people. Did you scream at your kids for a broken vase which is your favorite and threaten to throw away all their toys? Did you scold your spouse or friend with some badwords for making you angry? But making 1,000 apologies never compensates the 1-meter distance after your emotional action rush past the "STOP"sign. Saying "Sorry" is merely easier than having a strong heart.
Both cardiologists and psychologists advise us to have a strong heart. So,mental health isas important as physical health. To be an active, responsible and well-managed master of your heart, the happiness will enjoy living in your "house".
按圖片選擇關注【星空、麥穗與蝴蝶】
TAG:星空麥穗與蝴蝶 |