有個兄弟姐妹，到底好不好？

來源：huffingtonpost.com

作者：Devishobha Ramanan

翻譯：北京伊頓家長大學

我有兩個姐妹，在我們一起長大的日子裡充斥著各種大大小小的「戰爭」，從「今天誰和媽媽睡」到「為姐妹挺身而出」等等。

現在我們都已長大成人，擁有了自己的家庭和事業。大家可能幾個月互不聯繫，但是假如我遇到什麼麻煩，第一個想起的一定是她們。

有雞毛蒜皮想一吐為快，或聊聊最近的生活變化，尷尬糗事，我都會去找她們。因為我可以沒有任何思想包袱地和她們暢所欲言。

I grew up with 2 siblings, both sisters. Those days were filled with moments that ranges from intense battles over 『who gets to sleep with mommy today』 to 『standing up for my sister』 fighter moments.

Today, all of us are immersed in our own careers and families. We can go months without talking to each other, and yet- the first people that come to mind when I am in a crisis are my siblings.

Whether it is the most trivial bickering that』s itching to get off my chest; or the need to communicate life-changing news or something that could be, well- plain embarrassing. The amazing thing is I can talk to them about anything on the planet- without the added burden of watching my words or carrying the fear of being judged.

大家都知道兄弟姐妹相安無事感情好，可經常打打鬧鬧的我們也是情深似海的。

And, I am not even talking about zero-conflict situation here.

還有研究表明：與兄弟姐妹一起長大的孩子在成年後會有許多優勢。

As it goes, research shows that people who have grown up with siblings carry some distinct advantages over others.

他們塑造了現在的你

They shape the person you become

那些從小和兄弟姐妹一起長大的孩子能很自然地明白，人與人之間有所不同。哥哥可能很安靜，是個熱心的讀者。妹妹卻可能是個狂野的冒險家。

當你和不同天賦、不同個性的人一起成長，就會對周圍的人產生高層次的社會和情感上的理解，這種能力將影響到你以後的生活。

此外，孩子還將獲得處理衝突的能力。根據哥倫布快訊的研究，有兄弟姐妹的人的離婚率也要低得多。

Kids raised with siblings have a natural understanding that people can be very different. The brother might be quiet, and an avid reader. The sister might be a barefoot adventurer at heart.

When you grow up with people with different aptitudes and personalities than yourself, it instills a very high social and emotional understanding of people around you; even much later in life.

Plus, it gives them a natural knack at handling conflicts. According to this study by The Columbus Dispatch, even divorce rates are significantly lower for people with siblings.

他們讓你更會與人溝通

They help you communicate better

有兄弟姐妹的人從小就有人際溝通的鍛煉。通過觀察和傾聽自己的兄弟姐妹，能幫助孩子們加強溝通能力。他們能很快明白什麼是有效的溝通，還能發展出與父母談判的獨特技巧。

《Siblings as Agents of Socialization》一書的聯合作者Laurie Kramer博士說，兄弟姐妹對孩子的影響和父母的影響一樣重要。父母為孩子的社會行為奠定了基礎，兄弟姐妹則幫助孩子發展起非正式的社交能力。

People with siblings have negotiated a lot in their younger days. Watching and listening to siblings helps kids strengthen their communication loop. They quickly understand what will work and what won』t with their friends. They also develop unique methods to negotiate with their parents.

Dr. Laurie Kramer, co-author of the book, Siblings as Agents of Socialization, a sibling』s influence on a child is just as important as a parent』s. While a parent lays the founding stones for formal behavior in the society; siblings help a great deal in developing informal behavioral traits.

他們讓你更好地理解異性

They cement your attitude towards the opposite sex

與異性兄弟姐妹一起長大的人，有更多的機會去接觸和理解異性。

賓夕法尼亞州立大學的一項研究表明，有異性兄弟姐妹的人對異性更有吸引力，在約會時也更加成功。

People who have grown up with siblings of the opposite sex are presented with ample opportunities to understand the challenges of the opposite sex.

This study of the Pennsylvania State University found that siblings of different sexes have an easier time attracting the opposite sex and succeed in very high levels of engagement while dating.

他們有助於你獲得真正的成功

It translates to real success.

那些對人性和人際關係的理解，都將在未來轉化為真正的成功，尤其是對男性而言。

根據哈佛醫學院從1934年開始的格蘭特研究顯示，有兄弟姐妹的男性年收入約為50萬美元。

All that better understanding of human nature and relationships translates to real success, especially for men.

According to the Grant Study, a study by Harvard Medical School that began in 1934(and continues till today), men who have siblings earn roughly $50000 more per year.

他們是你人生中最持久的關係

It』s one of the most enduring relationships of your life.

擁有良好兄弟姐妹關係的孩子，在成年後通常有更多支持感和安全感。這一點不足為奇，因為兄弟姐妹彼此分享了太多相同的東西，相同的父母，同樣的環境，同樣的條件，同樣的規則，甚至是同樣的失意，他們了解你的靈魂和一切。

正如《The Sister Knot》一書的作者Terri Apter博士所說，兄弟姐妹並非總是與你意見一致，也不總是喜歡你，但他們卻讓你獲得受益終生的財富，這在任何其他關係中都無法複製。

Children who grew up with healthy relationships with their siblings tend to feel more supported and secure during adulthood. Not surprisingly, this is because siblings know you right through your soul as a result of sharing the same parents, same environment, same conditioning, same discipline and even the same disappointments.

According to Dr. Terri Apter, author of 『The Sister Knot』, siblings may not always agree with you or even like you, but they elicit a great interest in you that is difficult to replicate in any other relationship.

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