直擊心情的30句土味情話，一起承受這精神污染！
最近不知道是什麼情況，大家突然都不喜歡文藝的情話的了。各種土到龜裂的情話噴涌而出。一瞬間真覺得自己招架不住。
想來想去，這一切都得感謝業界翹楚雷老師：
好吧，今天我們就來土個夠！接好這30條精緻的土味情話吧。
1
你最近是不是又胖了？
為什麼你在我心裡的分量越來越重了呢？
Are you getting fat lately?
Why are you weighing more and more in my heart?
2
你好，我在找一條路，
它叫阿一西呆路。
Hi, I"m looking for a road.
It"s called I Love You.
（備註：阿一西呆路就是日語的「我愛你」。）
3
甜有100種方法，
吃糖、吃蛋糕，
還有每天想你98次。
There are 100 ways to feel sweet.
Eating sugar, eating cakes,
and thinking about you in 98 ways every day.
4
苦海無涯，回頭是我。
There is no boundary for the sea of misery.Turn back, and you"ll see me.
5
這是我的手背，
這是我的腳背，
你是我的寶貝。
This is the back of my hand.
This is the back of my foot.
And you"re at the back of my heart.
6
我是可愛的小姑娘，
你是可愛。
I"m a little girl of beauty.
And you are Beauty.
7
我不想撞南牆了，
我只想撞你的胸膛。
I don"t want to smash into the wall anymore.
I just want to smash into your chest.
8
莫文蔚的陰天，
孫燕姿的雨天，
周杰倫的晴天，
都不如你和我聊天。
Cloudy day,
rainy day,
sunny day.
None of them values more than a day in which you talk to me.
9
你猜我最喜歡豬肉還是牛肉？
我最喜歡你這塊心頭肉。
What meat do you think I like the most, pork or beef?
What I like the most is you--the meat of my heart.
10
——你有打火機嗎？
——沒有。
——那你是怎麼點燃我的心的？
--You have a lighter?
--No.
--Then how did you set my heart on fire?
11
你猜我是什麼血型？
我是你的理想型。
Do you know what my blood type is?
I"m the ideal type that you want.
12
你猜我的心在左邊還是右邊，
它在你那邊。
Which side do you think my heart is on? Left or right?
It"s on your side.
13
跟你說一個壞消息，
我對你的想法已經不單純了。
I have a bad news for you.
The way I think about you is no longer pure.
14
你累不累啊，
你都在我心裡跑了一天了。
Are you tired?
You"ve been running in my heart for a whole day.
15
你知道我為什麼感冒嗎？
因為我對你完全沒有抵抗力。
Do you know why I got a cold?
Because I"m totally not immune to you.
16
你知道我想喝什麼嗎？
我想呵護你。
Do you know what I wanna drink?
Anything that can make me strong enough to take care of you.
17
你知道我想吃什麼嗎？
我想痴痴地望著你。
Do you know what I wanna eat?
Anything that can make me able to see you.
18
被你贊過的朋友圈叫甜甜圈。
Any of my Moments that you"ve put a thumb on is called a doughnut Moment.
19
——我喜歡上一個小哥哥了。
——那他一定很帥。
——你太自戀了。
--I"ve got a crush on a guy.
--Then he must be handsome.
--Oh, you are such a narcissit.
20
這是電影票，
這是火車票，
而你是我的女票。
This is the ticket for a movie.
This is the ticket for a train.
But you have the ticket to my heart.
21
我覺得你像我的一個親戚，
你像我爸的女婿。
I think you look like a relative of mine.
You look like my father"s son-in-law.
22
你有罪，
你偷走了我的心。
You are guilty.
You"ve stolen my heart.
23
我好害怕自己要長蛀牙了哦，
因為你真的太甜了。
I"m afraid that I"m gonna have a tooth decay.
Because you are just so sweet.
24
我好暈，我好像有點低血糖了。
可能是太久沒有看到你了。
I"m feeling dizzy. I think my blood glucose is low.
I guess it"s because I haven"t seen you for a long time.
25
你長得很像我一個朋友唉。
像我男朋友。
You look just like one of my friends.
My boyfriend.
26
你怎麼這麼宅？
你闖入我心裡之後就沒動過。
Why are you such an otaku?
You haven"t moved even a little bit ever since you came into my heart.
27
你看起來好像一個老婆婆哦。
啊不，我多說了一個婆字。
You look like a housewife.
Oh no, I mistakenly added a house in the word.
28
你好胖哦，
你來了之後我心裡就裝不下別人了。
You are so fat.
You"ve occupied all the space in my heart.
29
我猜你很喜歡喝蘇打水，
因為你可愛得冒泡。
I guess you love soda.
Because you"re just bubbly-bubbly lovely.
30
咱倆的友情到頭了，
該發展愛情了。
I think it"s time for us to end this friendship.
Let"s start a relationship.
啊，這泥土的芬芳。
這地瓜般的純粹。
這地三鮮般的淳樸。
你覺得這30條夠刺激嗎？你還聽過更震撼的土味情話嗎？快到留言區來分享吧，讓大家一起承受這精神污染！
來源：滬江英語
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