你真的，會說話嗎？

最新 07-17

「你會說話嗎？」如果有人這樣問你，你會怎麼回答？想必聽到這樣的問題每個人都會直接懟過去吧，不管是言論還是拳頭。

不得不承認的事實就是：有的人被誇「情商高、很會說話」，就比如汪涵、何炅、黃渤等等不勝枚舉；而有的人則經常被批「情商低、不會說話」比如那誰誰（為了小命就不說名字了）

為什麼會有這種現象發生呢？究竟那些「不會說話」的人說的話犯了哪些錯誤？而那些被讚揚的人說的話又為什麼容易被人喜歡，被人接受呢？我想，下邊這個演講會告訴你答案！

《說話的藝術》這是TED最受歡迎的演講之一，演講人為聲音專家Julian Treasure(朱利安·特瑞雪)。

Julian Treasure在演講中指出了人們在說話的過程中容易犯的7個錯誤，並且會指導你怎樣說話才會更容易被人接受，一起來看看吧！

說話的七宗罪

First, gossip. Speaking ill of somebodywho"s not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the persongossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.

第一就是，流言蜚語，在背後說某些人的壞話。這不是一個好習慣，我們都很明白那個說閑話的人在五分鐘以後就會在別人跟前說我們的閑話。

Second, judging. We know people who arelike this in conversation, and it"s very hard to listen to somebody if you knowthat you"re being judged and found wanting at the same time.

第二，評判。我們知道有些人在談話中是這樣的，這讓人很難聽進別人的話，如果你知道你被人評判且被認為不合格。

Third, negativity. You can fall into this.My mother, in the last years of her life, became very negative, and it"s hardto listen. I remember one day, I said to her, "It"s October 1 today,"and she said, "I know, isn"t it dreadful?"

第三，消極。你能陷入這個泥潭。我的母親，在她生命的最後幾年裡，變得非常非常消極，很難讓人聽她說話。我記得有一天，我對她說，「今天是十月一號，」她說，「我知道，這不可怕嗎？」

It"s hard to listen when somebody"s thatnegative.

當某人那麼消極的時候是很難讓人聽進去的。

And another form of negativity,complaining. Well, this is the national art of the U.K. It"s our nationalsport. We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything,but actually, complaining is viral misery. It"s not spreading sunshine andlightness in the world.

另外一種消極，就是抱怨。這是英國的全國性藝術。是我們的全國性運動。我們抱怨天氣，體育和政治，幾乎每件事，但實際上抱怨是病毒性的悲催，它不會在這個世界上傳播太陽和光明。

We"ve all met this guy. Maybe we"ve allbeen this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on toeverybody else and don"t take responsibility for their actions, and again, hardto listen to somebody who is being like that.

借口。我們都遇上過這個傢伙。也許我們都曾經是這個傢伙。有些人有指責癖好。他們怪罪任何人而不是對自己的行為負責任，所以，這又是讓人難以聆聽的一種。

Penultimate, the sixth of the seven,embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. Forexample, if I see something that really is awesome, what do I call it?

七件裡面的老六，倒數第二，浮誇，吹牛。它有時貶低了我們的語言，事實上。比如，如果我看見什麼真的很神奇的事情，那我該說什麼呢？

And then, of course, this exaggerationbecomes lying, and we don"t want to listen to people we know are lying to us.

當然這種誇大後來就變成了說謊。徹頭徹尾的說謊，我們就不想聽這種我們知道會說謊的人。

And finally, dogmatism. The confusion offacts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you"re listening intothe wind. You know, somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if theywere true. It"s difficult to listen to that.

最後是，固執己見，把事實和意見混淆。當這兩件事混為一談，你就像在聽風一樣。你知道，有人用他們自己的意見來強迫你。這很難讓我們聽講。

So here they are, seven deadly sins of speaking.

這就是說話的七宗罪。

說話的 H A I L 原則

The H, honesty, of course, being true in whatyou say, being straight and clear.

H，代表了誠實（Honesty），當然，說真話，直接了當並且清楚明白。

The A is authenticity, just being yourself.A friend of mine described it as standing in your own truth, which I think is alovely way to put it.

A，代表了真實(Authenticity)，做一個自然而然的自己。我的一個朋友把它描述為堅持真實的自己。

The I is integrity, being your word, actually doing whatyou say, and being somebody people can trust.

I，代表了正氣(Integrity)，言而有信，說到做到，成為別人能信任的人。

And the L is love. I don"t meanromantic love, but I do mean wishing people well

L，代表愛（Love）。我不是指羅曼蒂克的愛情，而是指對別人有良好的祝願。