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一秒看穿!網友眼中那些「渣伴侶」愛乾的事情大揭底

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俗話說得好,每個女孩兒一生中總會遇到幾個渣男才會成長,不過貌似,不僅女生們有這種感慨,男生們的內心OS也同樣強烈……

前段時間, 渣男最愛乾的那些事還上了熱搜:

不過貌似歪果仁們也有同感呢~最近Buzzfeed上的一篇帖子就火了:

Buzzfeed:我們讓讀者貼出他們眼中一段不快的關係中最危險的信號,來看他們的回復

Red flag即「危險信號」、「示警紅旗」:

The fallen trees along the road raised a red flag for the safety inspectors.

對於安全巡查員而言,沿路倒下的樹木是一個危險信號。

Toxic是有毒的,a toxic relationship則表示這段感情 「令人不愉快」。

問題發出不到兩個小時,就收到了150多條回復,網友們用自己慘痛的親身經歷告訴大家:戀愛中遇到哪些人要揮刀斬情絲。

到底歪果仁網友們說了啥?什麼才是歪果仁眼中的「渣」行為?一起來看看!

"When a guy says that all his exes are crazy, run... because he is the common denominator." —Ley.

如果一個男人跟你說,他的前任都是極品,趕緊撤…... 因為他是那個公分母。

"When he makes you feel guilty about making your own plans without asking him first." — Andre.

你做了自己的計劃安排沒事先問他,他會讓你覺得這是你的錯。

"When he never stops pointing out the mistakes of people you like, especially your friends." —C.

他總是不停地說你喜歡的人的壞話——尤其是你好朋友的。

"Emotional blackmail: when he is jealous of your friends or family and accuses you for not loving him." —Lyna.

情感勒索:他會嫉妒你對朋友和家人的愛,並指責你不夠愛他。

"I always pay attention to the way he talks about his ex-partners. If he is disrespectful, or if he trashes their appearance, it is a clear sign that I am dealing with a jerk." —Jen.

注意他談論前女友們的方式,如果缺乏對她們的尊重或者嘲笑她們的外表,那很明顯他是個渣男無疑了。

"If he does not want to participate in anything that involves your family or friends ... or when you go on your own because he does not want to come along, he throws a tantrum for some absurd reason: all he wants is to prevent you from leaving him alone and to keep you away from people that you value." —larubiadelquinto.

任何有你家人或朋友在的活動,他都不想參加。如果你一個人去參加了,他還會莫名發脾氣:他不想你留他一個人,還阻止你和那些你珍惜的人在一起。

"The moment your partner tells you that you would be nothing without him." — Abril.

當對方和你說沒有他你什麼都不是的時候……

"Lack of reciprocity: when he demands things from you that he does not do himself." — Olalla.

只索取不付出:自己不付出卻讓人為他做這做那。

"When he controls or viciously criticizes you, but excuses his behavior by saying "I am only telling you this because I love you."" —Casiopea.

總是想控制你,對你惡語相向,還美其名曰這樣都是因為愛你……

"When he asks for your passwords." —Paula.

跟你要密碼的時候……

"The first time your partner tells you what you should or shouldn"t do." —Laura.

對方第一次告訴你應該做什麼不應該做什麼的時候……

"When the woman stops doing what she used to do (like spending time with her friends) because he "wants me to stay with him", "his friends can"t come today, he is all alone, and I am sorry for him", "he stopped partying to be with me, so I"m not going out...", and also, "no, it is not because of him; I just don"t want to do it". YEAH, SURE. In my opinion, this is toxic. If he is asking you to stop doing what you like to do and to do what he likes to do, he is the one who does not love you that much." —18amigapreocupada.

當一個女人因為下面這些理由不再做以前喜歡做的事情時(如跟朋友聚會等):他想讓我陪他,他朋友來不了了,他一個人孤零零的,我不忍心,他為了我都不出去了,所以我也不出去了,不,不是因為他,是我自己不想去的……在我看來,這種關係是不會幸福的。如果他不讓你去做你喜歡做的事,而讓你做他喜歡做的事,那我只能說,他可能並沒有那麼愛你。

"When he forces you to change yourself (having to change your personality, behavior, clothes, social relationships...) by guilting you about how love is about making sacrifices, while he doesn"t worry one bit about how that makes you feel." —Claudia.

說什麼愛就是要犧牲,強迫你改變自己的性格、行為、穿著、社交……與此同時,他卻絲毫不在乎你的感受。

"Being impatient when you don"t respond to his messages quickly enough." —GabyC.

因為你沒火速回復他的消息而變得不耐煩的時候……

"One red flag can be when, during an argument, you partner downplays your commitment to the relationship by dropping phrases like "I have worked much harder than you on this" or "I have done everything to make it work, and you have done virtually nothing."" —Karina.

吵架的時候,貶低你為這段感情的付出,說什麼「我比你付出得多,我為這段感情傾盡所有而你啥也沒做」之類的。

"If he breaks things when we argue." —Azul.

吵架的時候摔東西……

"People who say, "I don"t believe that a woman and a man can just be friends"." — Berta.

那些說「不相信男女間有純粹友誼」的人。

"When, no matter what happens, he has to be the victim." —Moon.

無論發生什麼事兒,他永遠都自認是受害者。

"When he tries to drive a wedge between you and your loved ones because "he is not very fond of them."" —Arim.

因為他不喜歡,就要離間你和你喜歡的人的感情……

"To summarize: when you stop being yourself in a relationship, and you start to change your habits, friends, tastes, etc. for him... BE CAREFUL! Something is not right." —A. Maria.

總結一下:當你在感情中迷失自我,開始為他改變自己的習慣、朋友、品味等等的時候。小心了,事情開始不太對勁了!

"When he keeps talking about himself but is never interested in anything I tell him." —Aria.

他總是不停傾訴自己的感覺,卻對你說的完全沒興趣。

"When he makes every woman in his life play the villain — every one of them hurt him, abandoned him, or made him miserable... but he tells you that you are different, and you make him feel special. If they all dumped him, wouldn"t it mean that he was the problem?" —Paula.

如果他說他生命中的所有女人都很壞,她們都傷害他,拋棄他,讓他痛苦,唯獨你與眾不同的時候,當心了!如果別人都離開他,難道不應該是他的問題么?

"When they control everything, including who you friend on social media and even what you like." —Paula.

控制欲太強的時候,甚至管你在社交媒體上關注誰、贊了什麼……

"When his interest in you is really about him. He is more interested in what you do for him and the pleasure that you give him than in your personality, your tastes, or your interests." —Raquel.

如果他對你感興趣不是因為你的個性、品味或者愛好,而是因為你對他的付出或你對他的取悅。

"When he says, "You are not like other girls," and follows it up with a derogatory comment about other women." —Angie.

如果他說「你和其他女孩兒不同」,然後開始貶損其他女性的時候。

"Lack of respect, like checking out other women in front of you... as if it were some cattle market. Or making comments about things that become you and those that don"t, for example, "You would look better as a blonde," or "You are not skinny enough to wear such a short skirt". As if your own opinion were not enough." —Bb.

缺少尊重,比如當著你的面看別的女人,就好像在市場選菜一樣(不尊重女性)。對你指手畫腳,比如說「你金髮比較好看」,「你這麼胖穿短裙合適嗎」。就好像你的個人意見根本不重要一樣。

"When your partner starts to humiliate you in front of your friends, even if they do it "as a joke."" —I.

在你的朋友面前羞辱你,哪怕只是開玩笑。

"Pay attention to his opinions of the women closest to him. For example, if he thinks that his mother is annoying because she makes him clean, that a female friend is cool because she wears a low-cut dress, or that his ex is crazy, RUN!" —Cris.

注意他對身邊女性的態度。比如,他說他媽很煩,因為總是讓他打掃;說某個女生很酷,因為她穿著低胸裙;或者說他的前任是極品等等。這樣的渣男還是趕快遠離吧!

"Inability to do anything by himself. From running the washer to downloading a song from the internet. Finally, you end up in a mother-child relationship, in which you carry all the weight and take all responsibility." —Cristina.

自己啥啥都不會,包括用洗衣機,從網上下載音樂等等。最後,你會發現自己彷彿多了個兒子,承擔著所有的壓力和責任。

"When he makes you feel bad about things from your past (like, for example, having dated what he believes to be TOO MANY guys). Or when you try to talk to him about solving a problem, and he avoids communicating but then proceeds to make you feel like the problem is your fault. Or when he engages in emotional blackmail with "you don"t love me" when you put your life and your projects before him." —UnaHermanaMas.

如果他讓你為自己的過去感到羞愧(比如他會說,你過去怎麼交了那麼多男朋友)。或者你找他商量怎麼解決問題,但他懶得溝通,還覺得這個問題都是你的錯。當你把自己的生活和工作放在他之前,他會說:「你不愛我」。

"When they make "jokes" about your origin, skin color, the place you were born, or your accent." —V.

當他們拿你的出身、膚色、出生地、口音等開玩笑的時候。

"Being egotistical. This makes them behave selfishly with you, so you are going to end up giving a lot and receiving very little." —Alba.

太自我。這樣的人通常很自私,結果就是你需要付出很多,但收穫很少。

"When I tell him how busy I am or how little time I have to do things and, instead of giving me space, he demands more of it." —Paola.

當我跟他說自己真的很忙,要做很多事,他不僅不體諒,還要增加我的負擔的時候。

"When you start feeling guilty about something totally normal." —Gor.

當你因為一些很正常的事情而覺得自責的時候。

"In my case, having come out of a very toxic relationship, this is what I remember quite clearly: he would not talk to me for hours when I disagreed with him about something or when I did something he did not want me to do (like going out with my friends, participate in a theater play...), or when I praised a male friend or acquaintance. He would sulk for days, only to remind me of that at the slightest opportunity." —Falcon.

上一段有毒的戀情讓我印象頗深的一點:如果我不贊同他,或者我做了他不認同的事(比如跟朋友出去,看個電影之類的),或者誇讚了某個男性友人,他會連續好幾個小時不跟我講話,生好幾天悶氣,一有機會就揪著不放。

"When he yells or curses at you in public." —Bianca.

公共場合沖你大呼小叫甚至謾罵的時候……

"When the man is not clear about what he wants or what he looks for but at the same time he treats you like a girlfriend. Then he is vague when you try to get to know him but at the same time he tells you that you are special." —Carli.

如果一個男人還不清楚自己究竟想要什麼,想找怎麼樣的女生,卻把你當女朋友來對待,而當你想去問清楚時,他又言語模糊。與此同時,他又對你說:你很特別……

"When he depends on you for everything." —C

當他啥啥都依賴你的時候……

"When he does not want to spend time with your friends, but you always spend time with his friends." —Reix.

他不想花時間和你的朋友相處,你卻總要花時間和他的朋友們相處的時候。

"For me, there are two very clear signs. First, and, in my opinion, more difficult to notice, is attempts to humiliate you that masquerade as innocent jokes. And second, emotional blackmail. This is the beginning of the end." —Isa.

對我來說有兩個明顯的信號:第一個較難識別,就是會偽裝成玩笑的形式羞辱你。第二,情感綁架。這是感情走向終結的開始。

I think there are very obvious red flags, but the most dangerous ones are those that pass unnoticed. For example, when he does not think that your work, your career, or your interests are important; when he does not support you in decisions about career opportunities, and when he anchors you to a circle of control, which is supposed to be his "love", but in which he is always the protagonist." —Belén.

我覺得有很多明顯的危險信號,其中最危險的是那些不經意的。例如:他不認為你的工作、職業或興趣愛好很重要,不支持你的職業抉擇,以愛的名義控制你等等。

看完上面歪果仁網友們分享的「渣伴侶」特質,小夥伴們可有啥想說的?歡迎評論區留言分享哦~

如果戀愛的對象有上述「特質」,小夥伴們可要擦亮眼睛哦~不要等到被傷害了才追悔莫及呀!

英文來源:Buzzfeed

本文經授權轉載 | 歡迎分享朋友圈


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